Whether you’re married or dating you probably celebrated Valentine’s Day this past Friday in some way or another. But if you’re not married or dating anyone you may have spent time with your friend girls or just hung out with yourself wondering when you are going to meet that special someone. Don’t fret, be patient, love will come at the right time.
Our scripture Song of Solomon 8:4 encourages young unwed ladies not to waken or arouse love until the time is right. Out of timing, love can easily turn into a raging force of unreasonable passion. Engulfed by its heat people sometimes sacrifice all sound judgement. Song of Solomon 8: 7a “Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away.” Love can cause some people to lose their heads, lose their capacity to think clearly, and their ability to make sound decisions.
I believe we get into a lot of wrong relationships because we go looking for love too soon and in the wrong places for all the wrong reasons, and at the wrong time. Although it may not have happened yet, rest assured that with some patience and if it is your desire, love will find you. Proverbs 18:22 “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and he obtains favor from the Lord.” You see it’s the man that is to look for you not the other way around. I know some of you may be wondering how long do I have to wait. Well the answer to that will be different for everyone. A key question to ask is are you and your future mate ready and in position to be married. God will decide the timing when you’re both ready. He knows when you're both ready. Not perfect but ready. So, while you’re waiting stay focused on Him and His will and keep a few things in mind:
First, we need to be ready to protect ourselves and future relationships by setting physical limits and boundaries when interacting with the opposite sex (or with anyone for that matter). We must understand the importance of and practice emotional and spiritual boundaries by learning not to go too deep to fast when we do start dating. If clear boundaries aren’t kept, relationships can go downhill very fast and can become destructive in many ways.
Proverbs 4:23 “Above everything else, guard your heart. Everything you do comes from it”. Everything valuable is worth protecting. And you, my dear one, are valuable. We also need to put some safeguards in place – when we start dating we need to watch where we go, what we listen to, what we watch on tv, what we talk about, who we hang out with, the atmosphere we enter into, and what we wear. Our eyes, ears, nose, and mouths are gateways (entryways) to our heart.
Secondly, since we include God in our spiritual lives, why not include Him in our love relationships as well. Feelings, desires, and longings for someone should be surrendered at the feet of Jesus. We can have and maintain healthy dating/romantic relationship by becoming and being a healthy person. Ephesians 4:22-24 tells us to put off the old baggage of sin, bad habits, and hang ups and become new daily. Becoming more like Christ sets us up for interactions with others that reflect love, healing, and wholeness. Spiritual wisdom can only be given by the Holy Spirit. Christians should only date other Christians, there can’t be a true spiritual dimension in a person who is not a believer. It’s important that we as Christians connect with people who are in line with our spiritual life (on the same spiritual wavelength). 2 Corinthians 6:14 NIRV “Do not be joined together with unbelievers. What do right and wrong have in common? Can light and darkness be friends?” and 1 Corinthians 15:33 “Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character.” Just because they attend church does not mean they are in a relationship with the Lord. The healthier both individuals are emotionally and spiritually, the healthier the relationship will be.
Lastly, we must use discernment and seek God’s wisdom regarding the character of the people we date (we need to see them in all seasons of life), when they’re angry, sad, frustrated, happy, confused, etc... A healthy person will have a steady demeaner and attitude over long periods of time.
Anyone can say the right words and act the right way for a time, but the real person will be revealed eventually. Consider the depth of the persons faith : Do they have a heart for God and the things of God? Do they possess true spiritual wisdom? Do they have a relationship with God? Are they humble? Are they sincere? Although this is not an exhaustive list of what to look for and consider, it's a start.
When it comes to love, let’s take our time, make the right decisions, and wait for the right time! God's Time!
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